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| This is the page that reports the poop! Every week there's a blow out quality hoe-down in Dayton, and it happens at The Trolley Stop every Thursday at 9:00. It's called The Acoustic Revival, and you can expect dicey manuvers and high shinanigans. The photographic evidence will be complied, reviewed, and displayed here for easy viewing. Check back every few days to see what went wrong the previous week. Lots on this page, so let it load even if it takes a bit (and it will...). |
| TrolleyBUZZ - April 11 2002 |
| This has been another TrolleyBUZZ page, so stay tuned and check back for the numerous updates that I will undoubtedly post when I get the casts off my wrists. Carpel Tunnel Syndrome is a lot less funny when I have it. At this point I can't operate a door knob. Well, really any knob. Frankly, until I had this problem I never noticed how "knob-centric" our society is. I mean, try to find a standard door without one for crying out loud. It's like, I don't know, we're all knob-aholics or something. You think our founding father and mothers invisioned a world totally dependent on knobs? Hell NO! We weren't born with trunks like them friggin' peanut hoarding pachyderms. I got wrists man! WRISTS! I got a THUMB. I can reach and grasp! Would it kill us, would we whither as a society if we began to make use of something besides a frigging KNOB? I don't think so, my fellow Americans, I don't think so. Honestly, if we can't find a way to open something without a knob, haven't the terrorists already won? Besides, would not using knobs be so bad? Would it really give you a huge neck pain to have to pull a lever or something? Anyway, click HERE to go back to the main KC Kelly and The Reverend Dave page, And HERE to go back to the main TrolleyBUZZ page. |
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| SEX AND VIOLENCE! |
| To Hell With It... We're Going For Lots Of Hits. |
| Well, it's looking like we'll get our 10,000th hit this month, and no one is more surprised than I am. Happy, surprised, and now, ready to go for broke. So, welcome to the Adult, XXX, Out Of Control, Good Girls and Guys Gone Wild version of the now world infamous TrolleyBUZZ page. So send the kids to bed, close the windows and pull the shade, and get ready for something you'd expect to see in that creepy movie, Caligula. |
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| ALRIGHT! It's time to unspool this Torrid Chronicle of Debauchery. I hope you can handle this twisted, over the top, way too far, crossing the line version of TrolleyBUZZ. Because it's going to send you screaming into therapy! That's my guess. For instance, take a look at the two pics there at the top. Disgusting! What are they DOING? SICK! One minute he's performing some bizarre tongue-bath ritual, the next he's engaged in a wild game of Slap-A-Dope! And she's loving every minute of it! Eww! And there! On the stairs! A beautiful blonde is apparently chasing and beating her friend within an inch of her life! Kinky! Oh, and these two guys on the left - is that our buddy John? - so caught up in the heat of disgusting SEX AND VIOLENCE that they try to engage in a Forced Nursing! I mean, I guess that's what that is (looking at it makes me feel funny, so I'm going to stop). And take a look at the hot TrolleyBABE up there on the left. So lovely, so sexy, so violent! I bet she's trying to figure out what violent thing to do next right now. Look at that smile. VIOLENT! And THERE! Scott Marshall, over inflating his swollen pectoral muscles until the women can't help themselves. FIEND! Vile incubus! Stop Scott, stop! Give the poor females a chance at a normal life, do not expose them to your SEXY!!! And oh yes, the Girl In The Plaid Skirt. No one can doubt what she's up to. She's getting ready for some Backyard Wrestling, and behind her Ian is signaling that in some small way, The Devil is involved in all this SEX AND VIOLENCE. And is that the Tomcat with two, that's TWO girls? Wow, that is so... SEXY! Plus, if I remember right, a huge slap fight broke out among the three of them moments after I took this photo! So VIOLENCE ensued! And there's Ian again, and he's exposing his GUT!!! No! Don't look! It's so completey insanely filthy dirty! And look! It's contagious! The poor girl is inspired to change shirts and show her GUT!!! AAAAAUGH!!! And can someone out there with a degree in SEX AND VIOLENCE please figure out what in the hell I'm looking at down there on the right? Please? I mean, is that SEX, or VIOLENCE, or both? Or is it a mentally baffled woman trying to clean her nostrils with a straw without using her hands? SICK! SICK AND UBSCUSTABLE!!! Oh man, I'm done. Too much. It's just too much, I'm spent. I have to go get these images out of my head. I have to call a young priest and an old priest. I need to stand in a cleansing rain. Or a car wash. And fiber. LOTS of fiber... |
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| There! Are you disgusted? Do you feel dirty, fouled, and like you drank a big gulp of spoiled milk? Yeah. Me too. Ok, well, no more SEX AND VIOLENCE for me, thanks. Just the normal bad behavior, and some music stuff, and that should do it. The nostril-cleaner lady scared me. |
| In This Episode... |
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| I got a case of the goo-goo from that last piece, so let's get some verbage up here about something less likely to cause me to go to hell, namely MUSIC! Let's see, first thing to mention, it was NUTS. We had 18 Players make it out, and we were lucky a couple couldn't stay all night because we ended up closing up shop around 2:40 am. Britt was there, back from smacking volcanoes in Idaho. And Cramer got a great crowd response with his own special sort of acoustic impressionist guitar art. Dave Shields is always a treat, and he played some of his new stuff (from his upcoming CD) and it was absolutely steller, a real crowd pleaser. His buddy John Lakes sat in and played some tunes as well, and he was just great. Scott Marshall supplied the guitar for him, BIG thanks to Scott for that. Another big banger was a new group called The Smokehouse Grooves. They were very good, really dialing in their own thing, and they were very compelling performers. Looking forward to their next set at The Revival. And of course, always a huge highlight of the night, our Marishah Paddock was ON FIRE after recently seeing an Ani DiFranco show in NYC. Man, Marishah was LIT UP! So much power and enthusiasm on this night. She really stepped up and took the stage. Ryan Callahan also made an appearence, doing a fine job and playing a great Jeff Buckley cover. He's a guy to watch. Lackluster came out for their second show, and again layed down some fine original music. KC was on stage with me, and though it's pretty much the same deal every time, she kicked ass until it ran screaming. And this isn't even all the folks who came out. Every week we add some new talent and this Acoustic Revival thing becomes a little more special. Thanks to everyone who comes out, and if you're a regular you're double cool. |
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| WHERE IS... Jason "HUGE" Ruge? |
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| ransom note and a torn and defiled pair of The HUGE One's underpants (no mistaking those). The Balsamic Jihad, a shadowy group of extremist Italian chefs, are demanding that 10 million dollars be paid to them immediately or Jason Ruge will be made into a giant white guy calzone. Which would be awful. But, jeez, I don't have 10 million dollars. Do you have 10 million dollars? That's a ton of money. So... you know. Sorry Jason. I bet you will be delicious. |
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| Lots of folks who come out to The Acoustic Revival and check out this page know this face. Jason "HUGE" Ruge is a staple at the show, and he's always been a great friend of the scene. We officially like him and we're glad he comes to the show with his pair of fabulous babes in tow. Imagine then, if you will, the shock and dismay we at the KC Kelly And The Reverend Dave offices felt when this haunting photo of Jason appeared in our e-mail. It came along with a tersely worded |
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| Ah, Babes... Just a moment, a single moment of reflection, for the Men Of The Acoustic Revival. Guys, do you ever just step back and marvel at how lucky we are? How lucky to be surrounded with all of these Fabulous Babes? I mean, take a look around this page at the bounty of love we all share. The most lovely critters in the world accumulate at The Trolley Stop. They've got it all, brains, beauty, and many of them can also beat the crap out of you if you get out of line. All I'm saying is that we should, each and every hairy smelly one of us, get down on our knees and thank the sweet baby Jesus that we live in a free country populated with the most incredible females on the planet. Sorry, wiping away a little tear here. |
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| The Ballad Of Billy Donth (sung to the tune of "The Ballad Of Jed Clampett) |
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| Gonna' tell a little story, Bout' a guy name Bill Bought a motorcycle, Lookin' for a little thrill Was a little over powered, buddy don'tcha see It got away from him, Tore his leg off at the knee (spoken) Ouch. Somebody seen my shin? Boy, that really smarts Anybody know a good left shoe store? Well the first thing you know, Bill's hoppin' down the street Bumming out bad cause' he lost one of his feet Searchin' real hard when he let out a big hoot Cause he thought he found his leg But it was an empty boot (spoken) Dammit. Now that's a let down. How'd my foot get out of the boot anyway? It's still laced up... |
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| Good luck with that ride Billy, you're gonna' need it. |
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| Nobody loves Kevin Hardwick's thunderous artificial fart sounds more than Scott Marshall. Go on, rip one Kevin! |
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| Billy Donth is the Tarzan of head lice. |
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| Danni Belly! AAAAUGH! |
| Picture Pals From The Acoustic Revival |
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| Awkward moment - Kevin grows angry as he realizes the hot babe Scott is describing from a dream sounds just like his girlfriend... |
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| Dave Shields recoils in horror (along with every other guy in the room) as this lovely woman describes her "minimum requirement" for manhood. And she couldn't be happier about it. |
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| The delicious Mandy and the Evil FezPimP. Babes love a bad boy. |
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| WOO! Check out the brother's INK. That is some mad Tat my friend. Ian is committed! |
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| "Hello... BABY!" |
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| Miss Cleo reads a fortune. "You will send me mail in prison..." |
| The Incredible Two-Headed Doofus |
| Cowboy Seth! Yeeeehaw! |
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| How relaxed can you get? |
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| Style man, style... |
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| Matt Perkey knows WACKY PEOPLE! |
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| COLORFUL! |
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| Hey, it's Marty (our buddy and the guy who gave the Green Light to The Acoustic Revival). And who is that beautiful woman? It's Mrs. Marty, Shelly. It is so true; musicians get all the hot chicks. |
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| So any friends, so many good times. One place in town to be a part of all of this fun... The Trolley Stop. If you haven't been, go. If you have, come on back! |
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| Well that's it. I'll try to get the show from the 18th up ASAP. And I'll see you next time at The Revival. |