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| TrolleyBUZZ - May 23 2002 |
| What the hell is THIS? This is a re-occurring page on a web site, and it's dedicated to the documentation of all the completely INSANE stuff that goes on at an event in Dayton, Ohio. The event takes place at a club located in the fabled Oregon District, and the club is called The Trolley Stop. The event is called The Acoustic Revival. The Acoustic Revival is a open mic format musical show, featuring singers and songwriters. However, due to the high quality of lunatic that appears at these performances, there is also a show off stage. This event is outrageously successful. The people are suitable for court required mental evaluation. We like them. Here you will see them in their natural habitat, leaping and playing, feeding and mating. It's life, and they're living it. If you go to the show, you will most likely end up on here somewhere. Try not to get into trouble. Well, not too much trouble... |
| Welcome To PAGE THREE. You have, by continuing unto this page, proven your worth to human kind. When the bombs start falling the big jet that's going to be zooming around snagging the best people in the human race to re-populate the world will be making a stop at your house.. |
| HOLD ON TIGHT! It's DANCE PARTY TIME! |
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| Well this man HAD to get funky. He dodged security, took off his big long magenta "Pimp Robe", threw his enormous bright pink fur hat to one of his "Ho's", and began to get down in ways that, were he dead, would make James Brown spin in his grave like a faulty outboard motor. These sorts of High Shinanigans often unfurl when people with questionable judgment are exposed to HyBrId ACOusTic MiND ScREw ROcK. Scott Marshall and Kevin "The" HARDWICK, having invented this skull altering brew of sound, seemed to be frightened and appalled at this display of otter-like air-humping. In fact, if you look closely, Scott Marshall is gazing at the ceiling in a desperate attempt to look at ANYTHING but the white-boy-porno-bandit-crotch-piracy being committed right before his bugged out eyes. Eventually a huge dose of Rhino tranqualizer was fired into Mr. Funkywood's hind quarters, bringing him to his knees and saving everyone on hand from living through a potential tragedy - when the animal control officers arrived he was struggling to undo his pants. God help us... |
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| "We need pals... lots of pals...." |
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| Hey, it's Kevin Serey and the devastatingly beautiful woman who he has somehow hypnotised into being his babe. And there below is his sister, her guy, and these two dudes who are identical and probably clones of some sort (they certainly drink identical huge amounts of beer). |
| This woman is Scott Marshall's stalker. Wow. I wish she'd stalk me... |
| Mr. Wise Guy makes a prank phone call to The Trolley, from The Trolley. He's asking if there are any Players with gigantic bulbous freak heads. Funny, funny guy... |
| The lovely Angela and her cadre of very necessary body gaurds. These guys have got a lot of work ahead of them. |
| Master Actor Rian and Master Tanner Denise. George Hamilton has nothing on Denise, she's so golden brown! |
| That's right, it's MC Yo, getting ready to bust a funky joint. She's keeping it real for her peeps, remembering were she came from, as well as representing for her homies. Busy girl. |
| Here's our wonderful Marishah, perching at stage side while listening to Britt Brand. Just thought it was a cute pic. |
| We get so many people out to the shows, and it's always a blast. You may join the fun, just hop on down to The Oregon District on any Thursday at around 8:00. Make your way on over to The Trolley Stop and settle in for some great music and a great crowd. It's The Acoustic Revival folks. |
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| FULL HOUSE BABY! |
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| You know you want it... BELLY LOVE!!! |
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| Were to begin? BELLY LOVE is in full swing at The Acoustic Revival. And while it is true I miss the random bosom leaping at me from the darkness, I must admit this is some dandy BELLY. In the interests of fairness I'm trying to get more MAN BELLY, but frankly most men have a healthy understanding of just how disturbing the sight of their flubbery guts can be. I will continue to sordid task of soliciting MAN BELLY for the sake of the females that view this page, but I will not like it. Yikes. That's all. Yikes. Seth is up there, and I gather he and his bud have good MAN BELLY. I myself am more qualified to assess the BABE BELLY, and so when the question comes up I consult KC and she provides me with the feedback I need. There's some Danni BELLY up there, top left, and Jessica BELLY top right. I'm not sure about all the BELLY, there's some Adrian (that's not how she spells it, but I can't remember the right way, it's all French or something - sorry) BELLY down there. And some VERY nice Angela BELLY over here on the left. And... wait a minute. HEY! WHO LET THE BEER LOVE GUY IN HERE? Man, come on! How about a little dignity? This is BELLY LOVE. You've made the whole thing cheap. Now I must retire and try to regain my composure. He has pooped on everybody's parade. |
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| There you go. You have made to the end of another TrolleyBUZZ. Now, that wasn't so bad, was it? See you next week... |
| This has been another TrolleyBUZZ page, so stay tuned and check back for the numerous updates that I will undoubtedly post when I get the casts off my wrists. Carpel Tunnel Syndrome is a lot less funny when I have it. At this point I can't operate a door knob. Well, really any knob. Frankly, until I had this problem I never noticed how "knob-centric" our society is. I mean, try to find a standard door without one for crying out loud. It's like, I don't know, we're all knob-aholics or something. You think our founding father and mothers invisioned a world totally dependent on knobs? Hell NO! We weren't born with trunks like them friggin' peanut hoarding pachyderms. I got wrists man! WRISTS! I got a THUMB. I can reach and grasp! Would it kill us, would we whither as a society if we began to make use of something besides a frigging KNOB? I don't think so, my fellow Americans, I don't think so. Honestly, if we can't find a way to open something without a knob, haven't the terrorists already won? Besides, would not using knobs be so bad? Would it really give you a huge neck pain to have to pull a lever or something? I read about a door in a castle in England, and it revolved, and every time somebody went through it pumped 50 gallons of water into the place. NO KNOB. Sweet baby Jesus, I'd love to pump some water as long as the device that did the work was sans knob. Hmm. Wonder if I'm stretching this bit out too much? You know, I bet if I switch to a smaller font I can keep this stupid gag going another three weeks at least. Yeah! Though I should mention, parenthetically, that my wrists actually do hurt. Not like, you know, I'm going to kill myself. Not like the time I was trying to bond with a girlfriend and I decided to let her wax my gut. I mean, DAMN. And girls get that done to their crotch. I'd have to have my spinal cord severed to be able to stand that. Once when I was in high school I saw a gang of toughs hang a solitary smaller boy from a basketball hoop by the waistband of his underpants. This of course was a wedgie related assault. Man, I bet THAT hurt. Another time I heard about a kid who slid down a stairway banister and got going too fast and when he got to the bottom he smacked into the big wooden ornamental ball? And knocked it off and then he scrapped over the nail that held it on. Woowee. Makes me get all sweaty just thinking about it. Anyway, click HERE to go back to the main KC Kelly and The Reverend Dave page. And HERE to go back to the main TrolleyBUZZ page. |