| TrolleyBUZZ - May 23 2002 |
| What the hell is THIS? This is a re-occurring page on a web site, and it's dedicated to the documentation of all the completely INSANE stuff that goes on at an event in Dayton, Ohio. The event takes place at a club located in the fabled Oregon District, and the club is called The Trolley Stop. The event is called The Acoustic Revival. The Acoustic Revival is a open mic format musical show, featuring singers and songwriters. However, due to the high quality of lunatic that appears at these performances, there is also a show off stage. This event is outrageously successful. The people are suitable for court required mental evaluation. We like them. Here you will see them in their natural habitat, leaping and playing, feeding and mating. It's life, and they're living it. If you go to the show, you will most likely end up on here somewhere. Try not to get into trouble. Well, not too much trouble... |
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| And Now, A Word From The American Crack Council |
| "Hey, it's me Spike, the Crack Spokemodel and your very best friend when it comes to Crack. Today we're going to do something a little different. Welcome to the first installment of Crack Recipes! Today we're going to build and enjoy a delicious Crack Salad. First, gather a nice nest of spring greens. Then add some Italian sliced tomatoes and endive, and perhaps a little light cheese. Then, score some quality Crack. Red Tops, Kansas City Spooky, The Creeper, or in a pinch even Third Rail will do. Get a large wooden bowl for that rustic feel, and spread your greens evenly, tossing as you layer them into the wooden bowl. Then shred your cheese (shredding improves the flavor many kinds of cheese) and layer in onto your bed of greens. Sprinkle your fat rocks liberally all over your creation. Then snap off, pull a total freakout, bite your own lips off, and violently smash the wooden bowl and greens against the wall. Fly into an insane shrieking rage and leap onto the first rock you find and pipe that nugget and fire it up and suck that sweet, sweet smoke like you work for Hoover. Then collapse and die of catastrophic cardiac seizure. Remain dead and undetected in your dingy apartment for 11 days, gradually decaying. Be discovered when the neighbors complain about the smell. Fail to be claimed by anyone at the morgue and end up being dissected by medical students, all of whom are heavily addicted to Crack themselves. That's it! Enjoy the irony! Crack - It's Not Strictly Street Anymore. |
| Disclaimer - Hoover Vacuums is in no way affiliated with product, Crack. Use of names of specific types of Crack should not be construed or inferred to suggest an endorsement of prodcuct from one region over another. 11 days may or may not be sufficient time for you to decay for optimum recipe purposes, and your rate of decompostion will vary depending on enviromental factors such as exposure to cold, heat, light, humidity, synthetic carpets, and or household pets. Spokesmodel did not develop or test recipe. As a matter of fact, spokemodel has only faint foggy memories of what green vegetables even look like. Spokemodel actually exists mostly on discarded food which he steals from the tables at various snooty outddoor cafes'. The Little Bastard, American Crack Council Spokesmodel, eats better than The American Crack Council Disclaimer Writer, of that you may be certain. |
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| HIJINKS |
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| Don't Be A "One Page Willie!" Don't miss the biggest BELLY LOVE ever! Click HERE to Continue To Page TWO! |
| WHY? The Situation Called For It. Dammit'. |
| GOON LOVE |
| I was working in the lab, late one night... Actually, no, I have no lab.. But as I spend a bunch of time slapping this site together it occurred to me - hey, I'm having to get rid of a metric buttload of pictures because the person in them, either intentionally or by accident, looks like a GOON. Staring off into space, making a goofy face, someone is jamming their tongue into an eyeball, probably lots of reasons for it. But bottom line, lots of folks is coming off GOON. So. What do we do? Just deny them? Turn our backs? All get together and agree not to make fun of them? Slap the fillings out of their head and call a dentist? No. We Love. We love with all the love our little hearts can barf out.. And the reason we love? Because we're all getting together next week and YOU might be the GOON. |
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| Britt Brand played one of her best sets ever on this Revival Thursday. But she may be getting a little nervous about photographers... |
| Laine Marr, a great beauty by any standard, gets smacked with The GOON Stick in this shot. Her hair does look stellar though. |
| We Love John "Hi mister and missus Preckler. I am here to pick up Lowinda for our date..." |
| Look! It's a late model Cramerbot. |
| Ok. Look man, I didn't do anything. Nothing. I am innocent. I don't even know what it was that was even done, but no matter what it was, I had nothing to do with anything. Ever. And if I did? I was completely crazy at the time... |
| "Hi. I am Lowinda Preckler. I am going to go out with John. Got my gnarled fingers crossed that he will make me his bride. And I will be... THE BRIDE OF GOON!" |
| It was this guy's birthday. He got so drunk his face actually began to glow, emitting a faint chemical radiance. |
| This is not exactly a GOON picture, but this lovely girl does set back the anti-smoking movement 75 years. You could at least look a little unhealthy or something, |
| And so, the first installment of GOON LOVE is in the books. Where do we go from here? If you are actually on the GOON LOVE list, feel happy. You are breaking new ground in an old world. Hold your head high, and just hang that big GOON face of yours out there. If you are not, you may think it good sport to mock and jeer (actually pointing and laughing). But think twice. Remember, last week these fine people - GOONS though they may be - knew nothing of GOONERY, or being GOONS. Yet today the world has changed and GOON LOVE exists where it once did not. And as they have become GOON, so may you. SO MAY YOU!!! |
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| Oh my GOD! RUN! Babepack! BABEPACK!!! |
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| The Edible Danni and her best pal. And below - another very good friend, her exposed Butt-Crack. Man. Take one good long Goddamned look at that Butt-Crack. That is like, a MILE of Crack. That monster starts somewhere up between her shoulder blades. Wow. Butt-Crack. |
| Christie and KC, both having another big laugh at my expense (off camera, my weave has collapsed). |
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| The unusual Darren Maddox uses his razor sharp hair to peel the flesh from this beautiful woman's skull. |
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| Players Greg Biltz and Christie Hagen sit and listen to Jim Hiller as he speculates on the special properties of my Giant Mutant Circus Style Head. "It's not just the shear size, it's the density..." |
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| Hottie Jessica hangs with The Birthday Boy. Only moments after this photo was taken he attacked and actually ATE a full keg. Huh, cool. |
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| Ladies and Gentleman, The Trolley Stop is chagrined to present, without a doubt, Absolutely The World's WORST Ventriloquist Act. Please welcome Boopsie And The Stankcat. |
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| A fine example of the kind of folks that The Acoustic Revival draws. Two hot chicks. A guy in a nice hat. And a dude who, as much as anyone I have ever seen, looks like Mr. Clean. Welcome, glad you made it to the show. |
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